It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
