By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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