He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
