is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
