Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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