She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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