she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
