The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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