my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
