also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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