If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
