im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
