i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
