just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
