Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
