Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
