if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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