normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
