Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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