and you said cock pushups were impossible
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
3 2 1 whiskey
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
