We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
