I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I lost the right to judge tonight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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