i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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