the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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