Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
