I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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