wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
