Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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