Can Purell be used as lube?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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