Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
