so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's the barista slut.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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