He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
