She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
