Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
