AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
