Joe is yelling at the trees again.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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