Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
