the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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