four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
