dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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