I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
