Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
