I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
