dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
