We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
farters have to be the big spoon...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Everything about him screamed your future.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
