There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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