can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
