he wants to bone in the snuggie
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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