Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
