Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
