I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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