Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
