I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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